WAR OF THE UTENSILS

  How come we can never keep equal amounts of forks and spoons? And why are knives exempt from disappearing? In my house there are currently 2 spoons and one of them looks like it lost a fight with the garbage disposal. Someone either has to wait for someone else to finish eating, or use a fork and try to scoop the soup quickly into their mouth. Here are a few scenarios I've come up with as to why this is happening:

• The forks and spoons are rival gangs and right now the forks are clearly winning. I wonder if they toss the spoons out of the drawer in the back where no one can see. Is there a graveyard of spoons somewhere between the cabinet and the wall? How are sporks holding up during this violent time? 
• There is a spoon genocide. I don't know why anyone would want to make all of the spoons disappear, but it's happening in my home. Maybe the kids are doing it because they rebelling against soup. In my defense, it is still winter and soup is great during the winter!
• Someone (I won't name any names) keeps taking our tupperware and utensils to work and not bringing them back home. I'm sure their co-workers have a nice collection of our stuff by now.

I don't know what's going on around here, but since I've started writing this, we lost another plate at the hands of the little one. When will it end?