The Final Goodbye

Lately I've been surrounded by death it seems.  I had a dream about my mother dying just after my 30th birthday, which is to come later this year. I hear about it everyday on the news. And today I found out a very close friend of mine lost her uncle.

Why is it so hard to say goodbye? Even when you know death is imminent, it's still very hard to deal with once it has taken your loved one away.  The fact that you will never be able to talk to this person or hug them again is so devastating! Although you are relieved that they no longer have to suffer or feel pain, a part of you wishes they were still here. Sometimes we feel like we should have done more while they were around.

In the dream about my mother, my grandfather and his brother were helping me into the limousine, but they have both already passed. And today I was thinking about him and wondering if I wasn't so self centered while he was ill, I could have maybe cooked for him. He complained that his food was disgusting because it didn't have any flavor since his diet was restricted. I could have made him dinner occasionally, then maybe he would have lasted longer. It's too late now, he's already gone, it's been 8 years now, but the sadness till remains.

We have to cherish the time we have with our loved ones, seriously, because we never know when we will say our final goodbye.  I know sometimes we would rather be partying or be lazy at home, bu spend that lazy time with your family, no matter how much they may irk you. I have one grandparent left and it would kill me if she passed anytime soon! Don't rush your loved ones off the phone because you may never get a chance to talk to them again.

I know this isn't really my style, but death has been around me a lot so I felt a need to speak on it.